Author: Edward Guenther

Uploaded: November 11th, 2011

Johnny, Donny, Davy, and I found out that there was a tropical fish store that was selling alligators for $10.

Boy, I’ll tell you, that got our attention fast. Somehow we managed to gather enough money for 2 alligators, each about 9 inches long. They’d eat anything and sometimes they’d even try for your finger!

Now it happened that one of those gators died when only Ma was home. She was tickled because it had died in and excellent formation for mounting, so she scooped it up, wrapped it in tin foil and stuck it in the freezer, figuring that one day she’d have it mounted.

That freezer was the chest type with the lid opening from the top. I think it had two compartments but only the one on the right had anything worthwhile in it. Usually you could find ice cream in there. Some of us, Davy and Donny for sure, kept a spoon in the freezer room, though it was really called the washer and dryer board that we called our shelf. You know, Eddy’s shelf, Davy’s shelf, and so on. On the shelf you’d keep all your clothes in a neat little pile. Ma folded them I guess. It was under this pile that we’d hide out spoons. I always liked to keep a big spoon there. I forgot to tell what the spoon was for, snitching ice cream. Maybe 1 or 2 spoonfuls max or somebody might get suspicious if you were in there too long, and believe me, snitching ice cream was a capital offense! We’d always listen for the freezer door to close and then we’d holler out, “You’re getting ice cream!” The response was always the same, “No, I’m not!” It was a hard thing to prove against somebody. Besides, we didn’t really want to catch anybody. It was just our way of keeping each other ”honest”, so to speak”: A little is okay but don’t gorge yourself. Also, it was an unspoken rule to keep your spoon licked clean on account of germs.

Speaking of gorging yourself. One time Pa had brought home this massive tub of ice cream. Does a 10 gallon tub sound believable? I know it was huge. Well, we all ate on it then it then it got put in the freezer. The next day we wanted some ice dream but to our surprise that tub was bottomed out. I mean, sure you bet I had a spoonful or two but this was highway robbery! It almost came to a shoving match when Pa went into one of his fits. He grabbed that tub and threw it out the door as hard as he could, saying, “If you are going to act like that you don’t get any.” That’s when my suspicions were aroused about pa’s shelf. So I started checking and sure enough, Pa kept a spoon bigger than mine! I never told him though and for his part he never again demolished a whole 10 gallon bucket again.

Pa was funny about ice cream. We’d come home from basketball practice and Pa would always stop at Ashworth’s for a $.10 vanilla cone, except that one time when Mr. Ashworth was shot in the head by a robber. Funny though cause he was still waiting on customers as the sirens came in. Pa didn’t get one that day. I sure was wanting to see Mr. Ashworth cause I’d never seen a real hold-up before, just on “Gunsmoke.” In all fairness to Pa, sometimes he got us A $.5 cone; when he didn’t my mouth sure watered; when he did we always had to finish it before we got home so nobody would know.

This ice cream thing is getting carried away but one more thing about old freezer. It was big and one time sister phid’s husband, Wendy, brought us 50 half gallons of assorted ice creams. By assorted I mean weird stuff but man it was good! I guess He worked at some ice cream factory for awhile. Anyway, he showed up 3 days later for a bowl of ice cream and do you know every single carton in that freezer was scraped lean empty! I think Wendy was a little shocked and perhaps even a little irritated. I know one thing, those spoons were sure active. But my guess is that Pa plumb lost control for a few days. Didn’t do too bad myself but 50 cartons!

So you can see, with the utility room generally a happy place to be, why we were all shocked out of our wits when a horrible scream issued forth from this corner room. Johnny had been digging around in the freezer for some goodie when he opined a tin foil wrapppe4d object. Johnny, of all us boys, was the one most attached to those pattors and upon learning of Ma’s diabolical plan for the dead gator, he exclaimed, “you couldn’t do that to my pet gator could you?” I think Ma could have but somehow Johnny got his way and his cute little gator was given a decent burial.