Author: Donald Guenther
Obtained: October 25th, 2013
The birth of the Guenther euphemism “Coffee Pot”.
Mom loved her coffee and she liked to add a little milk and sugar. Watching mom drink her coffee made us desire to have some. The big guns could have a cup but only after they graduated from high school. The little guns in the family weren’t allowed to drink coffee as it was common knowledge that coffee stunted your growth. It was around coffee that the Guenther euphemism of “Coffee Pot” came into being. Few memories carry the emotions associated with the coffee pot incident.
The family would celebrate birthdays and mom’s birthday was especially special. Mom worked so hard for everyone. Ronny and Bobby saw this first hand and understood the sacrifices she made to bring happiness to others. When she’d burn our breakfast toast she’d eat the burnt toast and make us good toast. Over time she learned to like burnt toast and even preferred it. We loved her so. When her coffee pot gave up the ghost we saw her making her coffee in a kettle and straining out the grounds. The stage was set for the Coffee Pot incident.
On her birthday Ronny and Bobby pooled the little money they had and went and purchased her a present. Knowing how much she enjoyed her morning coffee, they purchased her an electric percolator. A coffee maker that sat on top of a stove burner. They were so excited to give mom their present.
Present time came and we all gathered around the piano bench in front of dad’s chair. Mom sat opposite dad in her rocker. Ronny and Bobby gave her their present. She opened their present and told them how nice she thought their coffee maker was. We called it a coffee pot.
Mom opened more presents. When she opened dad’s present she was surprised to see another coffee maker. Dad’s coffee maker was a modern electric automatic percolator.
The coffee maker was all shiny. It was a stood alone, plug-in, beautiful, modern coffee maker. Seeing dad’s present Ronny and Bobby shrank. What could they do? Mom was quick to say that she could use their present for camping.
Within a year dad’s automatic percolator stopped working. Mom started using Ronny and Bobby’s stove top percolator. She continued to use that dependable percolator for years.
With a big family there were many times when presents were duplicated with one superior to the other. At those times I can still remember Bobby yelling out “Coffee Pot”.