Author: Donald Guenther
Uploaded: 10/25/2013
My relationship with my big brother Ron goes back to before I had even been born. Ron and his friend Ross Tofflemire each had 9 children in their families with their mom’s pregnant. The due dates were identical. When May came around Mom had me two days ahead of Ross’s little brother Jay. Ron couldn’t help but like me from the get go because I helped him beat Ross.
Ron and Ross both attended a small private Catholic school named Saint Monica’s. The whole class sang for Christmas recitals and Ron had a weakness. Ron being extremely intelligent and as all intelligent people, he longed to exceed at everything including singing. A most damaging event occurred on Nov 14th, 1947 at 2:10 in the afternoon’s music class. The choir director, a senior nun, knew from the way Ron sang out and being so off tune, that she had to do something. The class had only one person that lived in North Bend so she asked all the North Benders to simply mouth the words. That shut poor little Ronny up. The Catholic nuns were known for getting results.
I’ve listened to Ron tell that story for years. Why is it that now he is a sought after choir member?
Could be that his hearing aid has helped him hear more clearly. He used to call an old man that sat in the back of the church “Plug in the Ear” because the man had a hearing aid. When I had an ear wax build up in my while in the second grade I got called by my siblings “Plug in the Ear”. I guess Ron got what he deserved, a plug in his ear. But that doesn’t explain the change because he had good hearing growing up.
Ron loves to sing in the church choir. He says that he now knows if a guy wants to catch a girl he should join a choir because in a choir the girls far outnumber the boys. As a youth no wonder he sang out so loud in the Saint Monica’s choir, his mind had been on pleasing others or it could be said displaying his wears to attach girls.
Ron did land a beautiful other half, MaryAnn. She is a fabulous organ player, highly desired by any choir in any church. Now the fog has lifted and I can see 20 miles out to sea, if the choir has Ron that means they get MaryAnn. If Ron catches on to this he might not be able to deal with another blow of this magnitude, once in lifetime is enough. He thinks his froggy voice is a nightingale princess.
Ron can play the piano and accordion but can he sing. Thinking about this more I have never heard Ron having been asked to audition for the choir he’s in. I’m sure he told them he couldn’t sing and I’m sure they said not to worry. Now I know why. Not even a hint that he might need voice lessons. I guess he is way past help. Ron, thanks to his wife, has been freed to sing in some Midnight Choir.
As for me, my better half and I had dinner the other night with Jay Tofflemire and his wife. He told me that he recently teased my mom and asked her if he, at 59 years old, could call her Geraldine. She replied that he wasn’t old enough and should call her grandma. I guess Jay needs to accept the fact that he had been born two days late and will never be old enough.
Fortunately for Ron he had three musicals types for children and to top it all off they are sensitive and respectful, and won’t want them to spill the beans to their dad.